Who is this

So Much To Say...

I haven't written lately for many reasons. Mainly because I have so much to say. I know, that doesn't make any sense. What I mean is that when my head and heart is full of so much, it all becomes jumbled and almost impossible for me to make into a coherent blog.

The most important thing that has been going on is the situation with my father in law. He is still in the hospital in Baton Rouge. He is conscious and somewhat coherent. He has moments of real lucidness but for the most part he is still extremely confused. Perhaps the hardest thing to watch is how out of character he is at this point. The doctors say they are hopeful for a full recovery and that it will just take somet time. It's hard to be patient because it's hard not to let your mind wander to places of pure fear. The "what ifs" are abundant and terrifying. What if he stays this confused? What if his memory doesn't come back? What if he STAYS so out of character? If "if" was a "skiff"...right?

So for the most part we have spent every free moment either in Baton Rouge visiting him or on the road to or from there. It's exhausting, though I'm not complaining because I can only imagine how tired my mother in law is.

On a lighter note, Chloe has open house at school tonight. She is super excited. I volunteer at her school pretty often, so I have seen most of the work she has done. That being said, she is super excited that her daddy and little brother will be able to go and see how busy she has been learning all year. I really cannot believe her first year of school is coming to an end. This year has flown by and I often find myself wishing I could turn back the clock. My little baby girl is going to be in first grade before I know it....waaaaaaahhhhhh!

Hunter is also growing like a weed. He is starting to talk so much! I've treasured this year home with him so much. You never realize how much you're missing as a working parent until you are no longer a working parent. I have been so blessed to watch my little man blossom and grow. He is beginning to talk in sentences and once you are around him enough, you can understand just about everything he is trying to say. We love him more than words could ever express and he really did complete this family.

Spring break is next week and we have big plans. I refuse to just sit around the house all week so I've filled the days with activities. No doubt I will be ready to keel over and die after it is all said and done but you only live once, right?

I apologize for the randomness of this post. Like I said, too much going on right now.

Until next time...CNS

Slow And Steady Wins The Race...

His progress is slow, but it's progress and that's all we can hope for at this point. He knows his name and he recognizes his wife. He knows he's in the hospital but he is not sure where or why. He's not sure of his age or what year it is but I am hoping that will all come back once the blood is re-absorbed and the swelling goes down. At least we are hoping that the swelling subsides on its own so that there is no need for surgery. He is still not out of the woods as far as that's concerned.

I know these are baby steps and may not seem like much to everyone who wasn't there the first 3 or 4 days but they are more than we expected after the last weekend. Please continue to keep Eldridge and our family in your prayers. He still has a long road to recovery and he is going to need all of the strength he can muster. So will his wife (my FABULOUS mother in law).

Thank you so much to everyone for all of your prayers and concern. It means more to us than any of you could ever know.

Until next time...CNS

The Power Of Prayer

The phone rang Friday mornng at 6:38am and woke me from a deep state of slumber. I though twice about answering it because I was still in such a sleep haze and then my brain cleared and I realized that in order for anyone to be calling that early there was probably an emergency. It was my sister in law and she was calling to tell us that my husband's father had been seriously injured after he fell and hit his head on a slab of concrete. He was sedated and on a ventilator and had been air lifted to a hospital in Baton Rouge. It was serious and I was filled with panic. How was I going to tell my husband that the father that raised him after his biological father died when he was 2 years old, was now fighting for his life because some punk decided to put his hands on another human being. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I don't wish it on my worst enemy.

We immediately made arrangements for the kids to stay here with my mom and we threw some clothes in a duffle bag and started the six hour drive to be by his side. The drive seemed to take double the time it actually did and I was scared shitless of what I would see once we got there. Ray's mom never panics. Ever. And I knew that for her to call us and have us take off of work and drop everything to drive there, well, she just wouldn't do that unless the possibilities were as grim as possibiites can get.

We arrived at the hospital around 3pm and we were able to see him for the first time at 5pm. I can honestly say that aside from seeing my newborn son in a similar state, it was one of the most difficult things I have ever encountered. He was so still, so lifeless, so broken. This is a 60 year old man that is so full of life. A retired farmer who can't sit still now that he doesn't have crops to tend to and so he runs around the small town of Jeanerette, La all day every day visiting with old friends and food shopping for his next big meal to cook. I could barely breathe.

I knew it was worse than we could have guessed and I was scared. Scared shitless.

For the next 3 days there was no real change except for they were able to take the ventilator out. But, he still wasn't responding. He has a skull fracture, a sub dural hematoma and a frontal lobe contusion. In other words, he is seriously injured and the future is far more uncertain than we had hoped for.

Ray and I and most of the other siblings left on Sunday because there was nothing that we could do for him and we needed to get home and get the kids. This way, if something changes drastically we can drive back and be there.

Right before we left, the neurologist had come to talk to everyone for the first time and the prognosis wasn't near as positive as we had hoped for. The bleed was quite large, the swelling significant and he wasn't responding at all. They couldn't rule out surgery and surgery meant removing part of the brain which completely devastated us all. We left the hospital feeling so defeated and at least for me, so confused. How did this happen? How could this happen? He was fine just 3 days ago. He didn't DO anything to deserve this! Why? And more importantly how would we go on if God forbid this turned out for the worst? So we did the only thing we could...we prayed.

We got the first bit of positive news last night when Ray's mom called and said that the nurse asked him his name and he replied with his name. She also asked him where he was and he said that he was in the hospital but he didn't know why. This was huge. More than huge, this was amazing. Baby steps...that's all we can hope for. He was even more responsive this morning proving that he knew a few more tidbits of general information. He didn't know how old he was or what year it was, but the doctor said that with the amount of swelling, that is to be expected. So, we hope that the swelling will subside on its own and the blood will be absorbed without him having to have surgery but we won't know for sure for about 7 days.

The point of all of this is that prayer really does work. I've seen it first hand more than once and in more than one crisis. While he is not out of the woods by any mean, I have to believe that his recent positive progress is just the beginning and he will continute to improve hour by hour and day by day. I have to. That's the only way this can play out. We're not ready to lose him yet. We're just not. And so I pray...

Until next time...CNS

Me...

So, I hear they call this a "meme". Writing down a ton of random and useless information about yourself. Here goes my meme:

- I love pickles. Especially with salt on them.

- Speaking of salt, I love it and put it on everything...fruit, veggies, food

- I am completely anal about my hands and feet. They must be manicured at all times.

- I recently discovered that if I stop coloring my hair, I would be completely salt and pepper (which scares the shit out of me).

- I hate driving at night. I really think I have night blindness.

- I am a complete scaredy-cat.

- I am totally in love with both of my children and when I say I could not breath without them, I mean that in the most literal way possible.

- I'm a great cook. Pot roast is my specialty.

- I would rather eat fruit than candy and I don't really care for chocolate. Unless it's mint chocolate, then I'm all about it.

- When I was a kid, I preferred cucumbers to any other snack. To this day, I eat cucumbers for lunch or dinner at least twice a week.

- I like to eat "real" food for breakfast. You know, stew, red beans and rice...etc.

- I have the BEST in laws ever. I really am lucky.

- I had the worst pregnancies you could ever imagine. I wouldn't do it again if you paid me five million dollars.

- I'm totally obsessed and addicted to my Blackberry. I've had one for 7 years; before it was "cool" to have one and I really don't think I could live without it.

- If given the chance, I would personnaly put a bullet in the heads of all people guilty of harming a child.

- I'm a guy's girl. And, I'm not saying that because I am intimidated by other women (which is why a lot of women say this).

- I know just as much, if not more, about football than most men.

- I love T.V. and could not survive without my DVR.

- I could easily be a co-host on The View if given the chance to audition.

- I can drive stick. In fact, only 2 of all of the cars I have driven have been automatic.

- I love the written word. Language Arts. I majored in it in college and scored almost perfect on the verbal section of my SATs. Not bragging, just sayin...

- I have the 2 best best friends in the entire world. That's a fact.

- I'm painfully indecisive but I like making all of the decisions which I'm sure drives my husband insane.

- I'm also a huge procrastinator. I mean, why do today what you can put off until tomorrow, right?

- I have no patience for lazy people. They suck.

- I have a terrible temper. It's one of the things I despise about myself.

- I have strong opinions but I am careful not to force them onto other people. I do not believe in discussing politics or religion at the dinner table.

I could go on, but I am sure this is more than you ever wanted or needed to know about me anyway.

Until next time...CNS

Every once in a while (actually, pretty damn often) I read a quote that rings so true in my heart, it tickles my spine. This quote did that for me this morning:

"The fact that the rest of the world has lost its innocence has no bearing on the way I choose to raise my own children...."

It just doesn't get any more "real" than that!

Until next time...CNS

Karma

I am going to write this as tactfully as possible, although, the four letter words swimming in my head and sitting right on the tip of my tongue are bountiful. You see, this is something that has puzzled me for quite some time. Approximately 5 years, in fact.

Why in the world do people that do not have children think that they know so damn much about children? It makes no sense to me. It would be like someone who cannot spell surgeon, much less perform surgery, walking into an operating room and expecting to perform open heart surgery. It's unheard of. So why is it, that people who have not experienced even a single day as the parent of a child feel that they are somehow in a position to judge you as a parent? That's the million dollar question, I assume.

I mean, I get that there might be certain things that seem obvious as far as parenting goes, whether or not you have given birth. You know, like the fact that kids shouldn't curse or talk back to adults. This is a pretty standard code of conduct that 99% of people in this world have adopted. But let me speak from my abundance of parenting experience and say that no matter how hard you try or how good of a parent you strive to be, kids will be kids and sometimes everything that you have taught them goes out the window. There WILL be times when a small child says things that they shouldn't. It doesn't necessarily reflect poor parenting. So why is it that you feel the need to look at me as if I should be ashamed? You all know that look. The look that says, "My child would NEVER EVER say such a thing! I will be sure to teach them so much better". Yeah right, just you wait honey. You have NO idea what you are in for.

You see, you don't have to SAY I am a bad parent to make me feel like one. That stupid little oh-my-god-i-can't-believe-she-just-said-that look speaks volumes. Funny thing is, it says more about YOU than it could ever say to me. Because, when you sit in judgement of something that you know absolutely nothing about it makes you look like the stupid one.

Also? What goes around comes around and karma is a bitch. Just wait until you do have kids. You will be surprised and you will be sorry. I promise you that. Because if there is one thing that I know for sure after six years of this whole parenting gig, it is that you should NEVER use the word never when referring to children. You just never know.

Until next time...CNS