So Much To Say...

I haven't written lately for many reasons. Mainly because I have so much to say. I know, that doesn't make any sense. What I mean is that when my head and heart is full of so much, it all becomes jumbled and almost impossible for me to make into a coherent blog.

The most important thing that has been going on is the situation with my father in law. He is still in the hospital in Baton Rouge. He is conscious and somewhat coherent. He has moments of real lucidness but for the most part he is still extremely confused. Perhaps the hardest thing to watch is how out of character he is at this point. The doctors say they are hopeful for a full recovery and that it will just take somet time. It's hard to be patient because it's hard not to let your mind wander to places of pure fear. The "what ifs" are abundant and terrifying. What if he stays this confused? What if his memory doesn't come back? What if he STAYS so out of character? If "if" was a "skiff"...right?

So for the most part we have spent every free moment either in Baton Rouge visiting him or on the road to or from there. It's exhausting, though I'm not complaining because I can only imagine how tired my mother in law is.

On a lighter note, Chloe has open house at school tonight. She is super excited. I volunteer at her school pretty often, so I have seen most of the work she has done. That being said, she is super excited that her daddy and little brother will be able to go and see how busy she has been learning all year. I really cannot believe her first year of school is coming to an end. This year has flown by and I often find myself wishing I could turn back the clock. My little baby girl is going to be in first grade before I know it....waaaaaaahhhhhh!

Hunter is also growing like a weed. He is starting to talk so much! I've treasured this year home with him so much. You never realize how much you're missing as a working parent until you are no longer a working parent. I have been so blessed to watch my little man blossom and grow. He is beginning to talk in sentences and once you are around him enough, you can understand just about everything he is trying to say. We love him more than words could ever express and he really did complete this family.

Spring break is next week and we have big plans. I refuse to just sit around the house all week so I've filled the days with activities. No doubt I will be ready to keel over and die after it is all said and done but you only live once, right?

I apologize for the randomness of this post. Like I said, too much going on right now.

Until next time...CNS

Slow And Steady Wins The Race...

His progress is slow, but it's progress and that's all we can hope for at this point. He knows his name and he recognizes his wife. He knows he's in the hospital but he is not sure where or why. He's not sure of his age or what year it is but I am hoping that will all come back once the blood is re-absorbed and the swelling goes down. At least we are hoping that the swelling subsides on its own so that there is no need for surgery. He is still not out of the woods as far as that's concerned.

I know these are baby steps and may not seem like much to everyone who wasn't there the first 3 or 4 days but they are more than we expected after the last weekend. Please continue to keep Eldridge and our family in your prayers. He still has a long road to recovery and he is going to need all of the strength he can muster. So will his wife (my FABULOUS mother in law).

Thank you so much to everyone for all of your prayers and concern. It means more to us than any of you could ever know.

Until next time...CNS

The Power Of Prayer

The phone rang Friday mornng at 6:38am and woke me from a deep state of slumber. I though twice about answering it because I was still in such a sleep haze and then my brain cleared and I realized that in order for anyone to be calling that early there was probably an emergency. It was my sister in law and she was calling to tell us that my husband's father had been seriously injured after he fell and hit his head on a slab of concrete. He was sedated and on a ventilator and had been air lifted to a hospital in Baton Rouge. It was serious and I was filled with panic. How was I going to tell my husband that the father that raised him after his biological father died when he was 2 years old, was now fighting for his life because some punk decided to put his hands on another human being. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I don't wish it on my worst enemy.

We immediately made arrangements for the kids to stay here with my mom and we threw some clothes in a duffle bag and started the six hour drive to be by his side. The drive seemed to take double the time it actually did and I was scared shitless of what I would see once we got there. Ray's mom never panics. Ever. And I knew that for her to call us and have us take off of work and drop everything to drive there, well, she just wouldn't do that unless the possibilities were as grim as possibiites can get.

We arrived at the hospital around 3pm and we were able to see him for the first time at 5pm. I can honestly say that aside from seeing my newborn son in a similar state, it was one of the most difficult things I have ever encountered. He was so still, so lifeless, so broken. This is a 60 year old man that is so full of life. A retired farmer who can't sit still now that he doesn't have crops to tend to and so he runs around the small town of Jeanerette, La all day every day visiting with old friends and food shopping for his next big meal to cook. I could barely breathe.

I knew it was worse than we could have guessed and I was scared. Scared shitless.

For the next 3 days there was no real change except for they were able to take the ventilator out. But, he still wasn't responding. He has a skull fracture, a sub dural hematoma and a frontal lobe contusion. In other words, he is seriously injured and the future is far more uncertain than we had hoped for.

Ray and I and most of the other siblings left on Sunday because there was nothing that we could do for him and we needed to get home and get the kids. This way, if something changes drastically we can drive back and be there.

Right before we left, the neurologist had come to talk to everyone for the first time and the prognosis wasn't near as positive as we had hoped for. The bleed was quite large, the swelling significant and he wasn't responding at all. They couldn't rule out surgery and surgery meant removing part of the brain which completely devastated us all. We left the hospital feeling so defeated and at least for me, so confused. How did this happen? How could this happen? He was fine just 3 days ago. He didn't DO anything to deserve this! Why? And more importantly how would we go on if God forbid this turned out for the worst? So we did the only thing we could...we prayed.

We got the first bit of positive news last night when Ray's mom called and said that the nurse asked him his name and he replied with his name. She also asked him where he was and he said that he was in the hospital but he didn't know why. This was huge. More than huge, this was amazing. Baby steps...that's all we can hope for. He was even more responsive this morning proving that he knew a few more tidbits of general information. He didn't know how old he was or what year it was, but the doctor said that with the amount of swelling, that is to be expected. So, we hope that the swelling will subside on its own and the blood will be absorbed without him having to have surgery but we won't know for sure for about 7 days.

The point of all of this is that prayer really does work. I've seen it first hand more than once and in more than one crisis. While he is not out of the woods by any mean, I have to believe that his recent positive progress is just the beginning and he will continute to improve hour by hour and day by day. I have to. That's the only way this can play out. We're not ready to lose him yet. We're just not. And so I pray...

Until next time...CNS

Me...

So, I hear they call this a "meme". Writing down a ton of random and useless information about yourself. Here goes my meme:

- I love pickles. Especially with salt on them.

- Speaking of salt, I love it and put it on everything...fruit, veggies, food

- I am completely anal about my hands and feet. They must be manicured at all times.

- I recently discovered that if I stop coloring my hair, I would be completely salt and pepper (which scares the shit out of me).

- I hate driving at night. I really think I have night blindness.

- I am a complete scaredy-cat.

- I am totally in love with both of my children and when I say I could not breath without them, I mean that in the most literal way possible.

- I'm a great cook. Pot roast is my specialty.

- I would rather eat fruit than candy and I don't really care for chocolate. Unless it's mint chocolate, then I'm all about it.

- When I was a kid, I preferred cucumbers to any other snack. To this day, I eat cucumbers for lunch or dinner at least twice a week.

- I like to eat "real" food for breakfast. You know, stew, red beans and rice...etc.

- I have the BEST in laws ever. I really am lucky.

- I had the worst pregnancies you could ever imagine. I wouldn't do it again if you paid me five million dollars.

- I'm totally obsessed and addicted to my Blackberry. I've had one for 7 years; before it was "cool" to have one and I really don't think I could live without it.

- If given the chance, I would personnaly put a bullet in the heads of all people guilty of harming a child.

- I'm a guy's girl. And, I'm not saying that because I am intimidated by other women (which is why a lot of women say this).

- I know just as much, if not more, about football than most men.

- I love T.V. and could not survive without my DVR.

- I could easily be a co-host on The View if given the chance to audition.

- I can drive stick. In fact, only 2 of all of the cars I have driven have been automatic.

- I love the written word. Language Arts. I majored in it in college and scored almost perfect on the verbal section of my SATs. Not bragging, just sayin...

- I have the 2 best best friends in the entire world. That's a fact.

- I'm painfully indecisive but I like making all of the decisions which I'm sure drives my husband insane.

- I'm also a huge procrastinator. I mean, why do today what you can put off until tomorrow, right?

- I have no patience for lazy people. They suck.

- I have a terrible temper. It's one of the things I despise about myself.

- I have strong opinions but I am careful not to force them onto other people. I do not believe in discussing politics or religion at the dinner table.

I could go on, but I am sure this is more than you ever wanted or needed to know about me anyway.

Until next time...CNS

Every once in a while (actually, pretty damn often) I read a quote that rings so true in my heart, it tickles my spine. This quote did that for me this morning:

"The fact that the rest of the world has lost its innocence has no bearing on the way I choose to raise my own children...."

It just doesn't get any more "real" than that!

Until next time...CNS

Karma

I am going to write this as tactfully as possible, although, the four letter words swimming in my head and sitting right on the tip of my tongue are bountiful. You see, this is something that has puzzled me for quite some time. Approximately 5 years, in fact.

Why in the world do people that do not have children think that they know so damn much about children? It makes no sense to me. It would be like someone who cannot spell surgeon, much less perform surgery, walking into an operating room and expecting to perform open heart surgery. It's unheard of. So why is it, that people who have not experienced even a single day as the parent of a child feel that they are somehow in a position to judge you as a parent? That's the million dollar question, I assume.

I mean, I get that there might be certain things that seem obvious as far as parenting goes, whether or not you have given birth. You know, like the fact that kids shouldn't curse or talk back to adults. This is a pretty standard code of conduct that 99% of people in this world have adopted. But let me speak from my abundance of parenting experience and say that no matter how hard you try or how good of a parent you strive to be, kids will be kids and sometimes everything that you have taught them goes out the window. There WILL be times when a small child says things that they shouldn't. It doesn't necessarily reflect poor parenting. So why is it that you feel the need to look at me as if I should be ashamed? You all know that look. The look that says, "My child would NEVER EVER say such a thing! I will be sure to teach them so much better". Yeah right, just you wait honey. You have NO idea what you are in for.

You see, you don't have to SAY I am a bad parent to make me feel like one. That stupid little oh-my-god-i-can't-believe-she-just-said-that look speaks volumes. Funny thing is, it says more about YOU than it could ever say to me. Because, when you sit in judgement of something that you know absolutely nothing about it makes you look like the stupid one.

Also? What goes around comes around and karma is a bitch. Just wait until you do have kids. You will be surprised and you will be sorry. I promise you that. Because if there is one thing that I know for sure after six years of this whole parenting gig, it is that you should NEVER use the word never when referring to children. You just never know.

Until next time...CNS

Yesterday, we set out to have a wonderful family day. The weather was cool but not cold and couldy but not rainy. A perfect day in my book. As far as we were concerned, the possibilities were endless.

I had been craving nachos for days so we started at our favorite Mexican restaraunt which the kids were thrilled about. I swear to you, Chloe could survive on beans and queso alone and she would never be sick of it. Hunter was pretty stoked too, hence the pic above of him wearing the top of the tortilla holder as his own mini sombrero. We stuffed our bellies and headed out for the next stop.

I had been itching to take them to this place called "Old McDonald's Farm". It's right down the road from the house which was a major plus since we spend so much of our time on the road in the car. I wanted some place fun but close. I am so tired of spending more time getting to and from places than the time we spend actually enjoying whatever it is we set out to do.

So, back to "Old McDonald's Farm"...it is several acres of land, which houses all different animals in pens. Almost all of these pens are accessible to the kids so that they can pet and feed the animals. It's pretty awesome the watch the kids interact with the animals on such a personal level. I knew my kids would love it, because they are animals lovers just like their parents.

In addition to the petting zoo type stuff, there are also several large playgrounds and horses to ride and rope swings over piles of hay. Just tons of stuff for the kids to do and see. Chloe LOVED riding the ponies. Hunter had a blast chasing down turkeys and peacocks. It was tons of fun and the kids had an awesome time.

Of course, the day would not be complete without at least a little bit of complaining. So, I did become the "most boringest mom EVER. EVER" when I put my foot down about the enormous sand mound that the other kids were playing on. I mean I just couldn't wrap my brain around dealing with pounds of sand on my kids and in my car. Call me crazy. Just a little hiccup though.

UNTIL...

We got back to the car and I noticed that the cash I had sitting right inside my purse was gone.

When we first got to the place and were getting out of the car, Ray handed me like $50 cash and I set it right inside my purse. He saw me and I remember specifically doing it AND where I put it. We searched and searched and searched and it was gone. It is just so freakin' unbelievable to me that people steal from other people. In broad daylight. In the parking lot of a place where you take your children to have a good day; where families go to make memories. What kind of person decides that fifty dollars is worth tarnishing an otherwise joyful day? What type of person comes to the conclusion that it is somehow acceptable for them to steal the hard-earned money of MY family? I just don't get it and I don't think that I ever will. Funny thing is, if you are so desperate for money and you just ASKED me for it, I would probably give it to you. But to just STEAL it...freakin' ridiculous.

And so, we made some amazing memories yesterday that I will NOT allow to be tarnished by some jerk-off with no conscience!

Until next time...CNS

Apparently, the tough of stomach flu Hunter had Monday night which started this whole epidemic wasn't enough. He started with round 2 this afternoon. Just when I thought we had seen the worst of it and were finished. Also? Just when I was convinced I had dodged the bullet for the frist time EVER. Now, I'm thinking it's only a matter of time before I'm praying to the porcelain Gods. Great.

Until next time...CNS

A Day (Or Weekend) In The Life...

This weekend was a weekend I look forward to all year long. My favorite time of year. Mardi Gras. I love it. I love everything about it. The music, the food, the parades, the king cake...the good times.

The very first year we moved to Texas, we didn't make it home for the parade at Cypremort Point on the Saturday before Mardi Gras. I was so miserable and home sick I swore that I would NEVER miss it again. And, we haven't.

So, I spent all day Thursday washing clothes and all morning Friday packing. Ray got off at 3 and I had my truck all packed and ready to go as soon as he got home. We were off by 4 and things were looking good. We hit a little bit of traffic but made the journey with little trouble.

But...and yes, there is always a but...right after we crossed the state line we got a call from my sister in law saying her husband had gotten the stomach bug she had just gotten over and he got so sick he had to call the ambulance. But, he was fine. They were giving him some much needed fluids and some pain medication for the kidney stone he was also struggling with and then sending him home. My mother in law was at the hospital with them without a car and needed a ride home so we offered to pick her up on our way into town and bring her home. We made sure NOT to go anywhere near the hospital because we didn't want any part of whatever it is they were dealing with. This family has its fair share of viruses and I didn't need another one. We picked her up, went home to where everyone else was awaiting us and settled in to a long night of laughing and catching up with the family we so dearly miss. Around 11:30 that night, my sister in law and her newly released husband came by after the hospital. I had a feeling then it was going to get us somehow. You can't come within 100 yards of my kids with a bug without them getting it. But I prayed and brushed it off, eager for the festivities of the next day.

Saturday came and while it was a bit chilly in the morning, the weather was gorgeous and we headed out to the camp at Cypremort Point for a fun filled day. And fun filled it definitely was. The food was awesome, the music was good and the kids had a freakin' blast. I could not have written the story line better. It was an amazing day. Just as I had pictured it. Memories were made. Did I mention that I LOVE Mardi Gras?

On Sunday my mother in law was kind enough to watch Chloe and Hunter so that Ray and I could make the drive down the bayou to Golden Meadow to visit my grandmother. She is in the final stages of pulmonary fibrosis and I am devastated to lose her. So, I made sure that I went to see her and visit with her and talk about all of the memories we have together. And believe me, there are plenty. She and my grandfather are one of the biggest parts of my childhood. I really don't know what life will look like without her. But, that is another post for another time. Suffice it to say, we had a great visit and I am so thankful that I got to go and spend some one on one time with her before she passes on (man, it hurts just to type that and it took me sitting here staring at the keyboard for no less than 5 mins before I could bring myself to).

We got up early Sunday, packed the car and started our journey home. We are always so sad to leave even if we are ready to get back to our own house. It would be just perfect if that house was home in Louisiana instead of Texas but such is life at the moment. We had a fairly uneventful trip back to Houston and I was ready to unpack, do the laundry and get ready to return to life. The fact that we had been exposed to, but not yet contracted that stomach bug never left the back of my mind. I really thought we had dodged a bullet. I really thought that because the whole house had a pretty nasty stomach virus right before Christmas, we would be spared another. Bahahahahahahahahaha. Yeah, bahahahahahahaha.

Right after baths and right before we laid down for the night, Hunter came to me saying "beddy huwt" (belly hurts) and I immediately knew. That started his cycle of projectile vomiting for the evening. Lovely. He stopped around 1:30am and right when I thought I could close my eyes and get some rest, my poor baby girl started stirring. And like I said before, I knew. She started around 2am and I have never seen her that sick. Not in six years worth of tummy bugs. She didn't stop vomiting until around 8 this morning...which is right about the time Ray began to hurl like no human should ever have to. Needless to say, it has been an extremely long and miserable 18 hours and counting. The kids seem to be on the tail end of it and Ray seems to finally be resting. Oh wait, did I mention that the toilet overflowed in the middle of all of it this morning? I am NOT good with stopped up toilets. Not at all. No, I am not lying. As my best friend pointed out, I couldn't make this stuff up if I wanted to.

For some reason, I still feel ok and have yet to feel the least bit queasy. I am knocking on tons of wood as I type this. But really, I am just waiting for the other show to drop because the only REAL way for this to play out is for me to get deathly ill as well. I mean that's the way it goes in this family, right?

The thing is, I am exhausted and drained and miserable and annoyed but I am so thankful for the wonderful weekend we had at home with family and friends. If we wouldn't have made it home for Mardi Gras we never would have been blessed with the stomach bug, but we also wouldn't have made another year of Mardi Gras memories we can't ever get back. So, all in all I would say it was completely worth it. However, I have not yet gotten sick. My husband and children may beg to differ.

Until next time...CNS

Through her eyes...

"Momma, I don't wanna die. Ever. I really don't because it's too much fun here on earth. I mean, what happens when I do die? Do new kids take over?"

This is a direct quote from my six year old daughter. She is so smart and always trying to "figure" life out. Man, I really wish I could see the world the way she does. Life would be much more pleasant, that's for sure.

They did it!!! They did it!! And, they did it with heart and soul and grace!! They did it with determination and inspiration!

We ain't the "ain'ts" any more!!

Who dat baby?! Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints?! Who dat?!

Until next time...CNS

I Believe...

Well, today is the big day! The game that the people of Louisiana have been waiting on since 1967. My nerves are bad and 5:30pm can't get here fast enough.

I just want to go on record and say that no matter what, I am proud of the New Orleans Saints. They have come so far. The city and the state really needed this and a win would just be icing on the cake. But, I will take the cake only if that is what is meant to be.

The thing is, all season people had nothing but negative things to say about the team that is closest to my heart. They weren't REALLY that good, they just had an easy schedule. Then, they would never win the NFC title. When they did, it was that they didn't really deserve it...people blamed it on bad calls and blah blah blah.

They're HERE and they earned it. At least give them that! I will be proud no matter what and I have been with them every step of the way.

I'll end with just this......WHO DAT?!

Until next time...CNS

John Edwards Is A Scumbag

Look, I normally try not to judge people by their mistakes or lack of morality. Ok, well maybe I do, but I don't normally profess my distaste to the world. But, I just cannot NOT declare my disdain for this man. Here's why...

Because while everyone makes mistakes, everyone does not commit adultery while their wife is terminally ill. Everyone does not father a secret love child with some skank while allowing their dying wife to believe that the affair is over, and he is trying desperately for forgiveness.

Because while I believe that your marriage is your own business, I also believe that when you have a loving and DEDICATED spouse you at least owe it to her to let her know that sooner rather than later news of this love child is bound to be known to the entire WORLD. I mean this kid isn't going anywhere and the assistant that you paid to say he was the father, well, I mean how well did you REALLY think that was gonna work out??

Because while everyone but him is handling the situation with dignity and grace, it is an unthinkable position for him to have placed any of these people in. People he vowed to love and care about. What about this innocent baby?? What about his older three innocent children? What about honoring the memory of the child he and his wife so tragically lost in 1996?

Because if he is such an educated man, did he REALLY believe that making a sex tape with his mistress was going to keep their affair a secret? Did he really think that a sex tape, of all things, would not come out in the face of a presidential election?

Because did I mention that his wife has Stage 4 incurable cancer? So, even if he was not aware of that fact when the affair began, surely he was aware of it as it continued during her illness. Does he have no soul?

I am done. Please rest assured that I could go on for pages and pages but the scumbag just really isn't worth my time.

Until next time...CNS

Yay! Finally set up my Blackberry to mobile blog! Let's see if this helps me blog at all....hmmmm....